In Hawaii

I am apparently too tall for my weight. I am 117 pounds soaking wet and 5'1.5" but I cannot find a pair of pants that actually fit me well. If they aren't too big then they are too short and vice versa. I ended up buying 6 petite to have the lenghth but I have to keep hiking them up as they start sliding off.

I had the morning off and felt at a loss for awhile since I forgot what that was like and decided since I finally had some time I should go in search of new clothes as nothing I own fits me anymore and people were looking at me funny. I am not complaining about swimming in my clothes, I just absolutely HATE shopping for clothes, especially alone. I used to enjoy it with my kids but not so much for me, by myself.

So I get dressed for work and when I got there I walked over to the Aloha Tower to get my parking validation and heads are turning to watch me and I am wondering what the heck they are looking at so I went into one of the little stores in search of a mirror and did the once over and realized how tiny I actually am and how great I looked despite the pants sliding down around what use to be hips. I have NEVER worn my slacks, skirts, shorts low and it is taking getting use to not having all the fat there to hold it all up.

I could have worse problems than this and I do, for sure, it's just weird to try and comprehend when you've always thought you were kinda big. And I feel fine, a little of the seasonal blues but they are passing, as they always do, and work is good so I believe this coming year will be a wonder filled one for me. Even in my loneliness at times I know there are people who love me dearly and that gives me comfort. I do miss talking to my Jody and I know she is very busy but I still miss her. I am thinking a Boston trip is in order this summer.

Just rambling but that is the strange and wonderful way my brain works and I am tired but waiting on laundry. Guess I'll sign off for tonight and try to get back in a day or two or three :-)

Until later, love love to you all....