In retrospect

I was thinking about my first blog post after I went to bed and I realized that I chose an odd place in time to start blogging, which would have been fine had I not left out part of the story. I admit I was venting and though I have been debating starting a blog for quite some time (okay, a month seems like quite some time, but I digress) it was never my intent to start with a page of complete frustration being released.

That being said, what I failed to mention was that it was also a tough week at work. I like what I do but not always for who I do it for, mainly due to the fact that she can go from laughing and talking story to mean, screaming psychosis in a fraction of a second. It doesn't just throw me off balance either, but everyone in the store. It gets so quiet one could hear a pin drop and you could smother in the tension, it is so thick.

I am also frustrated with myself since I can't decide what I want to do for a living if I ever grow up. Since gambling is illegal here it is a safe bet to say that winning the lottery is out of the question. I have held jobs I love doing since moving to the island but not the politics of said companies per se. And though I would love to work in the travel industry in which my degree would actually be useful, it doesn't seem to be happening here. I am just really sick and tired of poverty. On the other hand I sometimes think it may be a small price to pay to live where I live. If given a bazillion dollars to live where it is cold or snowy (or both) I would have to decline since I don't "do" the cold.

I am still frustrated today but much calmer about it. Even if I am a disappointment to myself. I remember a time when I wrote in a journal everyday and my life seemed so much better for it, which is why I decided to start a blog now and start repeating the habit of writing my daily thoughts and perhaps improve the quality of my meager little existence. Some days you're the dog, some days the hydrant. Such is life.